This is a story about judgments and the many ways people can surprise us.

It begins a couple of years ago, when I was covering a conference for gay and lesbian parents.

I met a gorgeous couple who looked more like models in a a Polo ad than parents.

“Do you have kids?” I asked, dubious because, really, no one looks that good when they have children.

“No, but we’re interested in adopting. Or maybe becoming foster parents,” Kelly Vielmo told me.

Foster parents? I wondered what, exactly, these two impeccably groomed men thought foster parenting — any parenting — was like. We said goodbye, and I moved on to other interviews.